Managing the dreaded micromanager May 14, 2018It seems counterintuitive, but one way to fight back when you get too many micromanaging emails is to send an email of your own. Think of it like a preemptive strike. Here’s an example, pulled from one of my coaching sessions with a vice president at a local startup. “My CEO is micromanaging me,” the vice president told me. “He’s constantly in my business. I’ll wake up in the morning with half a dozen emails from him.” “What are you…
Spiderwoman May 7, 2018Sometimes I feel like Spiderwoman when I walk in the city. Leaving work one afternoon, I saw a woman catch a heel on a curb and sprawl down the sidewalk. Spiderwoman ran to her, helped her up, brushed her off, picked up her cracked phone. We shared a shaky laugh. Spiderwoman didn’t want her to be alone with the shock and embarrassment of that sudden fall. A British couple had just gotten off the light rail at Pioneer Square and…
The work/life balance myth April 30, 2018“I need help with work-life balance,” a beloved client said, after showing me pictures of her beautiful new baby. “Maybe I need better time management tools.” I looked at this new mother sitting in front of me. I would have to let her down gently. “You do know that work-life balance is a crock, don’t you?” I asked. “It’s BS. It’s a myth.” No, my client said, startled. This was news to her. She couldn’t figure out how to balance…
There's always a way April 23, 2018Our general contractor took my breath away. And not just because he’s adorable. We were trying to figure out how to fit a window seat under the eaves without removing too much of my house’s framing and upsetting the structural engineer and city inspectors. “There’s always a way,” he said. “Wait, what did you just say?” I asked him, astonished. “There’s always a way,” he repeated. “We’ll figure it out.” His words were like a breath of fresh air. Rather…
Memory palacing April 16, 2018“How’s the ‘First Dreadful’ coming along?” I asked a beloved career-coaching client. He squirmed uncomfortably. The First Dreadful is one of five networking questions I work on with clients who are trying to make a career transition. The Dreadfuls are the questions you are, well, dreading: the basic questions you know you’re going to stumble over as you try to answer them. The First Dreadful — “So, tell me about yourself” — is an easy, friendly question. And a minefield. “I need…
Superpowers April 9, 2018“I want to assess my strengths and identify the best career for me,” a potential client told me on the phone. Career development doesn’t really work that way, I told her. “We definitely want to play to your strengths in your work,” I said. “You’ve been around for 30-some years – I bet you already know what your strengths are if you think about it.” Take the time a beloved client once told me a long, complicated, technical story about…
Networking in middle school April 2, 2018“Try not to get shot at school today,” I tell my kids every morning as they get on the school bus. “We’ll try, Mom,” they say. They don’t roll their eyes. We’re whistling past the graveyard. That’s how I regulate the terror I feel every single morning when my children leave for school. “Please don’t let a copycat try for headlines today. Please let our schoolkids across the country get home to their moms today.” Besides talking about school shootings…
This year's word March 26, 2018“I choose a single word every year,” a beloved coaching client told me. “Like a guiding principle for the year.” I looked at her in surprise. “I do that, too,” I said. (Apparently, lots of people do this.) “What’s your word this year?” “Connect,” she said. “I want to focus this year on connecting with friends and building community.” I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she was updating me on her extreme mountain climbing adventures around the world. This involved actually…
The quaver March 19, 2018A beloved coaching client told me she is nervous and awkward talking in groups. She hates presenting. She’s a senior manager at a large corporation. She’s ambitious and wants to move up in her organization. She has many years of presenting ahead of her. She needs to figure this out. “I was working on a deck with my vice president recently,” she told me. “He asked me whether I wanted to present it to the group. I’d had a hard…
Not qualified. Really? March 12, 2018A beloved client was considering a move. She had seen a VP role she was interested in. “But I’m not qualified,” this senior director said. “I haven’t done ________,” and she named some technical skill. So I told her a story. I had a client — a director at a large health-care organization — whose boss checks Google when he doesn’t know how to do something. He leads a large organization, he’s renowned as an expert authority and, yes, he’s…
