Ducking loneliness May 13, 2019“I’m lonely,” my career coaching client told me. “I feel like I’ve been working so hard and raising kids, and now I’m looking around and wondering where everyone is.” I know the feeling. For the first time in some 15 years, I can go do — something! anything! — without planning around child care. But what to do and with whom? “Finding new friends, and reviving old friendships, is a lot like networking for a new job — or dating,…
How to choose a coach May 6, 2019A career coach can help you make tremendous leaps forward in your career, but it can be overwhelming to decide whom to work with. Here are five considerations to keep in mind as you choose. Credentials. Coaching is not a regulated profession. You’ll find a wide range of quality among those claiming to be experts — in fact, anyone can put up a website and call themselves a coach. A credential through an organization such as the International Coaching Federation at least…
Healthy stress April 29, 2019I wanted to kick the printer. OFFLINE. The printer always just works. Why was it offline on the one afternoon when I really needed it? I was leaving the house in 15 minutes to give a talk in Bellevue, and I needed to print my slides. I could feel my heart beating faster, and a rush of intense irritation. I wanted to take a hammer to the printer. “Of course the printer decides not to work today, right now, when I…
Stop goldplating! April 22, 2019“I need to stop gold plating,” my coaching client told me. I looked at her quizzically. “You know, when you go above and beyond, over and over?” said my client, a senior account manager at an international organization who is responsible for a global brand. “I always make sure my work is beyond excellent, even when it doesn’t really matter.” Not surprisingly, this client reached out to me because she felt tired, burned out and is thinking about doing something…
Not in charge! April 15, 2019“I was talking about you today,” the stranger said as I walked into class. It was only our second improv class, so my heart sank as I imagined what ghastly memorable thing I might have done in the first class. “You said you were taking this class because it was the scariest thing you could think to do,” she reminded me. “You said you took an advanced ski class this winter and afterward resolved to always do scary things.” “I want to always…
Using amplification April 8, 2019Everyone on the drive down from Snoqualmie Pass was angry. Well, everyone except me. My husband was angry at my daughter for a risky skiing decision. My daughter was angry at my husband for shouting at her. My son was angry at my husband for shouting at my daughter. Fun family ski day. I listened to the tumult. While I had been enjoying a quiet beer in the lodge, my kids raced each other down the mountain. My daughter fell…
Base rates of a nightmare city April 1, 2019An executive coaching client was recently offered her dream job: exciting work, inspiring executive management, blue sky growth and development. But there was a problem. “It’s in the Bay Area,” she told me, her voice flat and resigned. “I hate the Bay Area.” This client, a young woman in a technical field, is a rising star in her organization. She is thriving in her current role; it’s just that, well, this new opportunity would be a leap upward. “If this…
The top right quadrant March 25, 2019One of my executive coaching clients is at the top of her field and looking to do something … else? More? “How can I choose between these orthogonal options?” she asked me. “It’s not like I’m choosing between two houses and can just rank attributes. These are apples-to-oranges choices.” I nodded wisely, making a mental note to look up “orthogonal” when I got back to my desk. As she updated me on the the leads she was following, I listened…
Who are your allies? March 18, 2019“The men are outperforming the women,” my executive-coaching client told me in frustration. “We’re all white men in leadership, but I’m not going to be able to promote a woman to director level.” My client is an executive with an international organization, living and leading a team on the other side of the world. (We were video conferencing.) His organization has stated goals of promoting women into leadership. “Do you have any women in mind whom you want to promote?”…
Weak ties March 11, 2019“I don’t know anyone,” the young woman in my office said forlornly. She was a participant in my monthly class on career and job transition. I was wrapping up the evening and asked the lovely people in my office what was worrying them. “I want to move into sustainable food production and operations, but I don’t know a single person in that world,” she said. She looked tired. Depleted. She was working long hours on an opposite shift from her…
