Getting Back Up May 16, 2011I got knocked down recently. And now I’m getting back up. A month ago an anonymous visitor left several comments here. The comments seemed mean spirited and personal. And the benevolent place where I was casting these writings changed into something creepy and critical. That’s not a place I enjoy visiting. It’s a barren place, an enervating place. The magic of creating something out of nothing – of writing – doesn’t survive there. Or at least mine doesn’t. So I haven’t written…
A Kid Named Doc May 16, 2011I read with a first grader at my kids’ school last week. He told me he has the same name as his grandpa. And that both his father and his grandfather are in heaven. We read a book about a kid whose father works in an automobile factory. As we read, the boy confidently identified the different makes of cars. “That’s a Ford,” he said, “That’s a Honda.” On the last page of the book, the protagonist talks about how proud…
Personal Trainer Love April 13, 2011I worked out with a personal trainer. And felt like an athlete again. Let me explain: I am so not a personal trainer kind of person. I’m a run-barefoot-in-the-woods-and-be-free kind of person. But Tim and I are trading sessions: I life coach him, he personal trains me. And I was curious. What does a personal trainer do? I guess I expected to get yelled out, to be told to gut it out, to be shamed somehow. What I didn’t expect was…
Goosebumps April 9, 2011The librarian had laryngitis and I got goosebumps. Twenty-five first graders were lined up in their classroom, ready for their weekly trip to the school library. They were looking at me expectantly to lead the way. So I set off. The wrong way down the hall. “That’s the wrong way,” the little girl in the lead said in an appalled whisper, like I’d just peed in the corner. “Which way is it?” I whispered back conspiratorially. “I don’t know where…
Perspectives on a Clothesline April 9, 2011I just hung a clothesline. Back in my corporate life, in my air-conditioned cube with a peek-a-boo view of the sky, in front of my email and word docs and spreadsheets, I used to fantasize about having a clothesline. Warm sun, warm breeze, wholesome clean clothes. I had to hang the clothesline in the dog run. Where the puppy is supposed to poop. Luckily, he’ll have none of that, so there’s a perfect clothesline-alley next to our house. It isn’t…
Boiling Water and a Frog March 30, 2011I had a root canal and fell in a hole. My tooth had been hurting for a while, but of course it went acute on Friday night. I got through the weekend on ibuprofen and NyQuil, only to discover that my dentist doesn’t work on Mondays. Good for him. Bad for me. As the pain grew worse, my confidence and optimism dissolved. My attention focused on my jaw and the ebullient happiness of the last two months dried up, leaving…
Love and Puke March 25, 2011My 7-year-old was up all night puking. It made me think of my dad. When I puked as a kid, my dad would hold my hair out of my face and press a cold washcloth over my forehead. I remember feeling so miserable, and so loved. As I sat on the bathroom floor at 3:30 this morning, rubbing a miserable little boy’s back as he dry heaved into the toilet, I was thinking about Dad. He died on March 30,…
Party Girl March 23, 2011I went to a party. (I know, I’m going to blog about that? Really? Bear with me.) In my old life, going to a party would be the last thing I wanted to do. Particularly a party where I knew no one except the host. In my old life, I just wanted to be home with my partner and children. Quiet. The last thing I’d want to do after a long week at work was go out. The last thing…
140 Calories March 22, 2011A favorite coaching client of mine looked at me and said, “I am so weak.” I couldn’t disagree more. I was thinking, “You are strong.” So strong to admit a weakness; so strong to be so vulnerable. So strong to start. This client has lots of plans about what he wants to get from coaching, but what he wants – what he really, really wants – is to lose weight. Eighty pounds of it. When he imagines himself as an…
Belly Rubs March 18, 2011I told a favorite coaching client to stop being such a fucking puppy dog. This guy is a rock star at work (he just received a performance review that many of us have spent years aspiring to), but he always feels on the verge of failure. He’s constantly seeking validation in a corporate culture that doesn’t give it out much. This causes him some anxiety. Together, we named that need for external validation “Max.” He’s the puppy dog that needs constant…
