The Whisper October 24, 2011A favorite coaching client wondered recently why she can’t be content with her job. She works for a good company, enjoys her coworkers, has an accommodating schedule. Sounds great, right? She wondered why she is so restless. So bored. Why can’t she just buckle down and be happy. Particularly in this shitty economy. Listening to her, I was reminded of a lovely man I once dated. He was a great guy, but he wasn’t the right one. I tried to…
Mess or Music October 20, 2011I’ve been thinking about mess. Messy rooms; messy corners of life. I have a coaching client who is trying to turn down the noise in her life. Too many demands, too much complexity, too much chaos. She doesn’t have room to think or breath. We started with the literal. She cleaned up some messes that had been distracting her: the unscheduled chaos of her family’s school day mornings and evenings. The noise began to quiet. And a little magic happened.…
The Running Group October 17, 2011I had a random idea awhile back. What if I started a running group and invited people who had never run before to come with me? Running is all well and good, but I only do it for that clear, calm, washed clean feeling afterwards. There’s a lot of spaciousness in that feeling. A lot of power. What if I invited other people to experience that feeling? What would they do with it? Once I wrote the invitation email, I…
It’s Not About You October 16, 2011A favorite coaching client recently received a troubling performance review. He feels paranoid: his colleagues seem to be distancing themselves, as if they somehow know. He described a coworker who used to be friendly. Now she never stops to chat. “Does she know something I don’t?” he wondered. I challenged him to ask her. That way he’d know. The next time he saw her, he smiled at her. And she smiled back at him in relief. He found out that…
Name Neurosis September 24, 2011I never remember names. I can know people for years and not have a clue what their name is. This has developed into a pretty rich neurosis, where I won’t say someone’s name even if I’m sure what it is, because what if it’s wrong? This is ridiculous. It inhibits my ability to connect with people. I’m distracted by an internal dialogue worrying about their name. So I decided to do something about it. A little Internet research says you…
Coffee Breath September 17, 2011I was kissing awake my 5-year-old daughter the other morning, my heart filled with love for that sweet, sleepy, warm body. From under the pillows, the most offended little voice said, “Your breath stinks.” And then, with utter disgust, “Gross.” Z keeps it real. I could feel myself flipping through the available emotions. I picked up “hurt.” I picked up “amused.” I picked up “distance.” They were all there, but they weren’t what I wanted out of that moment. I…
Museum Happiness August 26, 2011I have a new favorite, quiet place in Seattle. Stuck downtown by a three-hour break between coaching clients, I headed to the downtown library. On the way there, I happened to see a sign for the Frye Museum. On a whim, I changed my plan and drove to the Frye. I’d always meant to go. Opening the doors to the museum, I had a sense I was in a foreign city. I felt thrown back to my twenties, when I wandered…
Being Zilly August 8, 2011We went camping and forgot the dog. We were 30 minutes on our way when I realized. “Any other children you’ve forgotten?” my partner asked as we turned around and drove back to the house. And there was Zilly curled up quietly in his crate. Zilly is a very polite, appreciative, quiet little dog. He’s well behaved, does what he’s supposed to do, doesn’t make any demands, is pleasant to have around. In fact, he’s a lot like how some…
Barefoot Resolution July 20, 2011I just completed a New Year’s Resolution. Back in January, I resolved to run my 2 ½ mile loop barefoot. No Vibrams. Just barefoot. Six months later, I did it. And you’d think I was running topless. The askance looks and comments I get. Even a toddler loudly asked his mom as I ran past, “Why is that lady running with no shoes?” A good friend asked me the same question: why are you running in an urban park where…
Flinch July 19, 2011I flinched. I went blonde again. It all started when I was talking to a nice couple at the playground. The guy looked vaguely familiar. We eventually figured out that we’d gone to business school together. Graduated in the same class. He didn’t recognize me. That’s a bit of a hit: I like to think I make more of an impression than that. And when he finally placed me, I could just see him thinking behind his nice, warm smile:…
