Thank You, Aliens Aliens have abducted my husband. My Spock-like software engineer of a husband – or his alien clone – put a gratitude journal on both our phones. Who is this guy and what has he done with my husband? Every morning at 7:30 this app pops up, disrupting whatever else I happen to be doing, and I have to stop and think about and write down what I’m grateful for in this moment. After a couple of weeks of this, I’m…
Best. Kudos. Ever. A favorite coaching client recently convinced her partner to work with me on career coaching. When he got home after meeting with me, he told her: “You’re not allowed to say ‘I told you so.’” I think about that off-hand comment a lot. I can hear such love and humor and care for each other in it. And it was a needed affirmation for me, one year into this journey of self employment. It was an affirmation that, yes, I…
The Window A favorite coaching client describes her job as a suckfest. “It’s not so bad,” she says in the same breath, “as long as I have two glasses of red wine every night.” Her job is isolating. Enervating. The place where ideas go to die. It’s killing her soul, she says with a laugh, as if that’s not true. I’ve been working with her on finding a new job. I have a theory about career success. A lot of it has…
Running with Mountain Lions We hear stories about mountain lions at Cougar Mountain, but I’ve never seen one. Nevertheless, the stories are highly motivating. I’ve been running with a women’s trail running group early Saturday mornings at Cougar Mountain. It’s a bit far for me and my nearly bare feet – 8 miles up and down the cold, rocky trails of the mountain. It’s the highlight of my week. I’ve been thinking about why I pull myself out of my warm bed, drive for…
Finding Flow Several (well, many) years ago, I said I wanted to learn how to play the piano before I turned 40. The piano has always seemed like one of those impossible mysteries, like speaking French. Or dancing. As my 43rd year looms, I’ve started piano lessons. I got a free ($200 to move + $200 to tune = free, my partner points out) piano and found a spectacularly over-qualified Russian-conservatory trained instructor. And I’m making music. My left hand and right…
The Wet Blanket I have a favorite coaching client who wakes up to dread every morning. She wakes up dreading her day. I asked her what the dread felt like. “Like a warm, wet blanket,” she said. “A gray, wet, stifling blanket.” She can feel it heavy around her shoulders. “Does it find you, or do you seek it out?” I asked. “I seek it out,” she mused. I asked her to reflect on the blanket as it descends in the morning; to…
Pebbles My approach to coaching is to keep it simple. I look for the small, incremental changes that will make a difference in my clients’ lives. The thing about living the kind of life you want is that it needs to be sustainable. Otherwise, any goal is just a set up for feeling bad. As a coach, I listen for warmth, for joy, for passion. Those are the emotions that sustain us. The skill of the coach is to harness those…
Lockdown Frugality Everyone’s going skiing. “See you on the mountain,” someone called after the last soccer game of the season. We won’t be there. We’ve been in lockdown frugality since I quit my full-time job last year. The answer is now “No!” to things like skiing. I’ve been surprised to discover an odd thing about our newfound frugality: It’s a lot easier. There are fewer decisions to make. Fewer choices to sort through. We’ve already decided:  the answer is “No!” There’s no…
GTD Meets Zen I’ve discovered something cool. Maybe everybody does this already. But I thought I’d write about it in case it could be helpful to you. I try to meditate a couple of mornings a week. I do it in a way that I don’t think the abbess at the monastery I occasionally visit would approve of. I sit with a legal pad on my lap. If something interesting occurs to me, I open my eyes and write it down. That way…
Fired Up A favorite coaching client sent me an email: “I’ve just been fired.” I emailed her right back and the email bounced. I called her and listened to the shock and hurt at the other end of the line. I wondered what our next coaching session would be like. It wasn’t what I expected. My client looked radiant when I next saw her. There was a lightness to her step I’d never seen before. She laughed and was spectacular. “I don’t feel…
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