The Meeting July 11, 2012A favorite coaching client sat down and began talking about a meeting he was scheduled for later that afternoon. “It’s all executives at that meeting,” he said. “I guess they just need me there to actually do the work.” I went all coach-y on him. “Is there anyone else with your expertise in [xyz] at the meeting?” I asked. “No.” “Were you self-sabotaging just then, when you concluded that you were invited just to do the work?” This client and…
How Clients Graduate June 6, 2012A favorite coaching client “graduated” this month: she achieved the goals we set at the beginning of the coaching engagement. Her primary goal was to leave a job she hated. In a couple of weeks, she starts in a new role that she had said was “impossible” (and I quote) when we started five months ago. Along the way to that goal, she re-found her confidence and made a course correction in her career to meaningful, well-compensated work. This client…
Frosting May 24, 2012Caution: this is a story about female sexuality so please stop reading if you are offended by such things and are likely to flame me. It’s my birthday today and I don’t want to be flamed. At a lovely wedding recently, after several glasses of Indiana wine, the topic turned to sex. I told the story of a friend (protecting your anonymity, don’t worry, my dear) who complained to me about her lack of libido. She has small children, has…
Wedding Toast May 21, 2012This is the toast I gave to Jeff and Jill at their wedding in Bloomington, Indiana this weekend. Jeff asked me to share it here. Hi, my name is Kathryn. I’ve known Jeff since the first day of business school, and he was the second person to hold each of my children after they arrived — so hopefully that establishes my credentials for standing before you all now. I’m going to read this toast from my notes because I tend to…
The List May 11, 2012A favorite client struggles with a god-awful boss. Demeaning, incompetent, aggressive (no, I’m probably not talking about you) – not a fun combination for my client to manage every day. My client is in an active, highly-organized job search. She’s leaving this boss as soon as she can. In the meantime, she has to go to work every day. And takes a hit to her confidence and optimism every day. So how do I coach this client? I’m not about…
Muffins April 13, 2012Once a week I’ve been getting up at 5 a.m. to bake muffins. I feel like a pioneer woman cooking breakfast before dawn for my family. I then get my 8-year-old son up and we head east for a day at an alternative wilderness school. I like that he’s full of warm, healthy muffins for his day of wild weather in the woods. Last week I baked banana muffins. The kitchen was full of the warm smell of baking when…
Loaded Question March 29, 2012I read a blog post recently about asking whether there are weapons in the home before sending your child over on a playdate. (For those of you not in Seattle, two children were killed and one injured by guns in the hands of other children in the last couple of weeks.) I asked my 8-year-old son what he would do if he saw his friend’s parents’ gun on a playdate. “I’d think it was cool,” the idiot boy said. “But what…
Heavy Weights March 28, 2012As a personal coach, I spend a lot of time helping clients clean up and throw away the crap in their lives that takes up a lot of emotional space: stuff ranging from dirty man caves to “taker” friends to unrewarding jobs. As a coach, I’m really interested in what clearing that detritus makes room for. Last week, I got a taste of it. Early in the morning, I answered the daily joy question with: “One small thing I can…
Small Joys March 26, 2012“I’m not a crier,” said a favorite coaching client. “I’ve tried to cry over this, but the tears don’t come.” My client has a young child — and a job she loves. She’s an executive at a company you’ve heard of. “I feel splatted,” she says. Her travel schedule involves flying to a different city every week this month. I work on Work/Life balance in some form with all of my clients. Work/Life balance with clients with small children is…
Coffee Break Up February 16, 2012Dear Coffee, I hate to say it, but it’s time we broke up. I love how you smell, I love how you taste, but you’re not good for me. You make my stomach hurt. We’ve had some wonderful times together and I’ll really, really miss you. But I feel anxious when I’m around you. I get all sweaty. I can’t sleep. As I said, you make my stomach hurt. I know we’ve broken up before, but this time I really…
