Impostor syndrome March 5, 2018Impostor Syndrome is a common theme in my office. There’s no “cure,” but there’s no reason for it to hold you back. Here’s my Seattle Times column: The painfully funny thing about impostor syndrome. The Seattle Times, March 5, 2018 “I’m worried that I’m no good without my team,” a senior director told me. She was transitioning to a new role in a new organization, leaving behind the team she had built and developed over several years — a team that…
The potential baby February 26, 2018“Are you using birth control?” I asked a beloved coaching client, a junior executive on the East Coast. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone line. After a pause, she allowed that she is on the pill. She had two offers on the table: a VP role leading a large organization and a senior manager role without direct reports. She’s also thinking about having her first baby. “So you have a couple of months to…
Managing your manager February 19, 2018A beloved coaching client didn’t get promoted. He missed it by one vote. Unfortunately, it was his skip’s (his “skip level” — his boss’s boss) vote. “How do your other clients manage upwards?” he asked me, describing a pattern of cool and unhelpful relationships with his executive management over the course of his career. So I told him about a client, a senior technical director at a large health care organization, who had asked me a similar question. Her direct…
Pebbles February 12, 2018I had a new coaching client in my office the other day. “I hate my job,” she told me as she sat down, barely holding back tears. “I fell into it 10 years ago. I’ve been promoted and I’ve moved around to different companies,” she said, naming a couple of premier Seattle employers. “But I just hate the work and I feel stuck in it.” We talked in detail about what she’s interested in: product management, teaching middle school, UX…
Dreadful questions February 5, 2018The room was full of software engineers and technologists. I was on stage to talk about confidence and impostor syndrome (both very coachable, by the way). Those engineers were looking at me skeptically. They were ready to eat me alive. “Bring it on,” I thought to myself. I flipped to the first slide of my presentation, projected in large, bold font on the screen behind me: Who am I and how do I have credibility to coach executives in industries…
The back-to-school dilemma January 29, 2018“I’m thinking about going back to school,” a beloved coaching client told me. Those words always fill me with concern. Going back to school can be a great way to jump in a new direction or break through to the next level in your career. Going back to school can also be a colossal waste of time and money. This is the story of a client who went back to school after a deliberate decision-making process. She didn’t throw money…
Walking down the sidewalk January 22, 2018My coaching clients sometimes want to talk about increasing their executive presence. “How do you walk down the sidewalk?” I ask. Executive presence is about confidence, influence and emotional control (all coachable, by the way). The Harvard Business Review defines it as “your ability to project mature self-confidence,” among other attributes. Forbes describes it as “the ability to project gravitas.” So back to the sidewalk. A couple years ago, I read about someone who refused to get out of the way when she was…
Talking to old men January 17, 2018I went skiing the other day and talked to old men. The first was lying in the snow. The way he was lying there, struggling to get up, didn’t seem right so I skied over to see if I could help. “This is so embarrassing,” he said as he fell back into the icy snow. He was maybe late-70s, maybe a great skier when he was younger. Something didn’t seem right. “Let me get ski patrol for you,” I suggested.…
The car keys January 8, 2018A beloved client was late to our coaching session. This client, a senior leader at a large company you’ve heard of, finally arrived in my Seattle office flustered and apologetic. “Sorry, sorry!” he said, wiping sweat off his face. For some reason, I decided to pin him down: “Why are you late?” I asked. “I couldn’t find my car keys,” he said. “So I had to call Lyft, and that took longer than I thought.” He apologized again. Again, I…
Credibility November 8, 2017Who am I and how do I have the credibility to coach senior executives in industries I know nothing about? I put that question on a Powerpoint slide in front of a large group at Microsoft. I figured this question was on their minds. I like to get in front of difficult questions. In my coaching, I call them Dreadfuls – the dreadful questions you know they’re going to ask, and that you know you’re going to stumble over. Preparing…
