A favorite coaching client got blown off by his CEO. As the afternoon got later and later, my client watched the clock and seethed. He felt disrespected and unimportant. He was too busy being angry and anxious to get much else done that afternoon. “I tend to do that,” he told me. “I focus on the negative outcomes and it takes up a lot of space in my brain.” “I want the inverse of that feeling,” he said. We talked …
A Room of My Own
Years ago, in one of my first coaching classes, a beloved Master Coach asked me to describe my future office where I would do meaningful work. I could see it clearly in my mind’s eye: an open window letting in a warm breeze, a green view of trees and grass, a hint of blue sea in the distance. This week, I signed the lease on my own office. This is the view: I am delighted with my view of green …
AND
A coaching client is moving to Myanmar. (Which is not what usually happens with my clients.) This client is an adventurer. If he’d been born in the 19th century, he’d have set off with Shackleton. If he’d been born in the 24th century, he’d be off colonizing new planets. Since he was born in the 20th century, he’s moving to the other side of the world. To Myanmar. Recently laid off, this client had sought my help strategizing a career plan. As …
I’ll Show You
The Colman Pool swim test loomed large all winter. If you’re a little kid, you can’t go down the slide or the diving board unless you pass the swim test. And it’s a long way. You have to swim the crawl stroke all the way across the pool and back, without stopping. My 7-year-old daughter Z really wanted to go down that slide. We talked about it all winter. The first day of summer she failed the swim test. “You …
I Got It
“I got it.” That’s a nice email to see in my inbox. A coaching client has just landed a job doing work that matters to him at an organization you’ve heard of and respect. (It can be done.) “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me,” my client emailed. “I would have never have done what I needed to do to get this before we worked together.” Next time I see him, I’ll ask him what he means. I’ve been thinking …
Wild Girl
“I’m tired of being good at camp,” my 7-year-old daughter said. That got my undivided attention. “What do you mean?” I asked her. We were driving to the kids’ first day of wilderness camp, one of a string of camps this summer. “I always stay by the counselor, do what they say,” she mumbled, looking out the window. “What if you were wild today?” I asked her. I want my girl to be wild, to run like a crazy thing, to …
Networking Primer
I don’t know what they teach kids in college these days, but it sure isn’t the basic professional survival skill of networking. The Seattle Times selected Trevor, an out-of-work Millennial, as a “career makeover” candidate for a feature in the NWJobs section of the Sunday paper. And the Seattle Times selected me as a “networking expert” to coach him on networking, and specifically LinkedIn, to develop his career. The following is an executive summary I prepared for the journalist writing …
Foop Foop, Part 1
A favorite coaching client is playing small. She’s a top performer, professionally driven, highly capable – “But anybody could do what I do,” she says. This is a manager who gets top performance reviews, has a staff that would follow her anywhere, is widely respected and admired and liked – and who wants to play big. “What does that mean that anybody could do what you do?” I asked. “I don’t want to seem conceited,” she said. “I don’t want …
The Art of Bragging
I like it when my coaching clients brag. In fact, I make my clients brag. I recently asked a client to brag about his work. He squirmed in his chair. “Well, I think I’m okay at…” I jumped down his throat, the poor man. “That’s bragging?” I cried. “Try harder!” He put his head down on the table. “I don’t think I will ever stop worrying about the other shoe dropping,” my client said. “I undermine myself with doubt.” One …
Interview Hypocrite
I was coaching a client recently on prepping for an interview. I asked him to practice his personal narrative, to answer the question, “So tell me about yourself and why you’re interested in this position.” I drifted for a moment as I listened to his answer. I recently interviewed for an executive coaching gig. And I paused and stumbled over my personal narrative. I even have it written out, a coherent explanation of how a professional coach with an MBA …