Sometimes a simple question can change your life. Or at least your dirty dishes. As a coach, I’m interested in how questions can reframe a problem. When I teach my clients how to coach others in their life — to ask those good questions — I often tell an allegorical story about my family’s dirty dishes. It’s not just me: For women in heterosexual relationships, it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore, …
Decision fatigue
“I need to work on work/life balance,” said a coaching client, stretched thin between a big job and family commitments. “I am so overwhelmed.” “How many decisions do you make every day?” I asked her. She looked at me blankly, unable to begin to quantify an answer. “What if we strategize about how to declutter the unimportant decisions you make every day, and see if that helps with the feeling of being overwhelmed,” I suggested. We started with a story. …
Spiderwoman
Sometimes I feel like Spiderwoman when I walk in the city. Leaving work one afternoon, I saw a woman catch a heel on a curb and sprawl down the sidewalk. Spiderwoman ran to her, helped her up, brushed her off, picked up her cracked phone. We shared a shaky laugh. Spiderwoman didn’t want her to be alone with the shock and embarrassment of that sudden fall. A British couple had just gotten off the light rail at Pioneer Square and …
This year’s word
“I choose a single word every year,” a beloved coaching client told me. “Like a guiding principle for the year.” I looked at her in surprise. “I do that, too,” I said. (Apparently, lots of people do this.) “What’s your word this year?” “Connect,” she said. “I want to focus this year on connecting with friends and building community.” I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she was updating me on her extreme mountain climbing adventures around the world. This involved actually …
The car keys
A beloved client was late to our coaching session. This client, a senior leader at a large company you’ve heard of, finally arrived in my Seattle office flustered and apologetic. “Sorry, sorry!” he said, wiping sweat off his face. For some reason, I decided to pin him down: “Why are you late?” I asked. “I couldn’t find my car keys,” he said. “So I had to call Lyft, and that took longer than I thought.” He apologized again. Again, I …
Garbage Happiness
I’m going to be that crazy old lady picking up garbage off the street. Middle school these days requires five volunteer hours per year to graduate – which doesn’t sound voluntary but whatever. My 7th-grade son decided to fulfill the requirement by picking up garbage in the neighborhood. This was bliss for me. I get to go on a dog walk with my kid. He has to come with me. I point out garbage and he has to pick it …
The Bikini Mistake
This is a story about a mistake. That wasn’t. But it took a while to figure that out. At business school some 15 years ago, I competed in a business case competition. My idea was a woman’s swimsuit that didn’t reveal your crotch or the particular shape of your ass. A swimsuit you could wear on a boat, for example, with your male boss, male VP, and male coworkers. This was 15 years ago, when designs like this didn’t exist …
My Daring Greatly
An old friend asked me what I thought of Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly. I stumbled, trying to be insightful, and then gave my copy to someone who needed it. This is what I should have said. Her book has given me a new vocabulary. It has given me a linguistic shortcut that describes what is happening when I dare to be open to being hurt, to being laughed out. To being vulnerable. I discovered this in the middle of …
Upper International
My husband took me down Upper International (a double black diamond, I’ll have you know) on the last day of the ski season this year. This is important (to me) because my season started on a green circle run as I tried to remember how to ski after 25-some years. My mid-season included a Traverse of Shame after I got myself past the point of no return on a bumpy black diamond run (Triple60) and forgot how to ski. I …
Training for the STP
Note: This is a blog series I’m writing for the Cascade Bicycle Club blog. Week #1 of CTS Training: 28 Miles, 1160’ Elevation Week #2: 35 Miles, 1200’ Elevation Week #3: 43 Miles, 2000’ Elevation Week #4: 55 Miles, 2387’ Elevation Week #5: 67 Miles, 1849’ Elevation Week #6: Skipped It to Go Running Week #7: 76 Miles, 3500′ Elevation Week #8: 82 Miles, 3500′ Elevation Week #9: 92 Miles, 4700′ Elevation Week #10: 65-Mile Loop of Flying Wheels Week #11: …