Deciding between two job offers, each with lots of pros and cons, can be like comparing apples to oranges. Try plotting the different factors on a grid to help simplify the decision. Here’s an example that illustrates how to do this. A coaching client had a tough choice: two very, very different job offers and no gut sense of which one she wanted. One of the opportunities was at a large, renowned company. “It’d be a feather in my cap …
Write like a girl
“Write like a girl,” I told my career coaching client. My client, a scientist with several years of postdoctoral research experience, was applying for a faculty position at a prestigious university. We were working through drafts of her cover letter. The first draft of her letter was good: well written, well organized, coherent and clear. But there was a tone. “Your letter reads very humble,” I told her as I marked up the document. “I think you have a lot …
When to quit
Quit or persevere? As a career coach, that’s one of the hardest questions I work on with my clients: Should they walk away from a difficult situation or grit it out? A coaching client called me, outrage in her voice. She had been passed over for a promotion. Another client described a belittling work environment, his shoulders slumping as he described losing confidence in his abilities. Stay or go? Walk away or double down? Business writer Seth Godin’s 2007 book, “The …
Don’t wing it
Jack Reacher has some good career advice. He’s the formidable, former military police investigator who wanders around causing — and solving — all kinds of trouble in a reassuringly formulaic fiction series by Lee Child. In the latest book, “Blue Moon,” Reacher starts a turf war between rival gangs, among other plot complexities. “Suppose what you learn is that it’s hopeless?” a friend asks Reacher. “Not an acceptable outcome. Can only be a failure of planning,” says Reacher. That’s more or …
Where’s your old mojo?
A coaching client wanted to talk about confidence. A senior vice president, she wonders where the younger, tougher version of herself has gone. “I used to be so badass,” she told me. “I need to regain my confidence.” This is a common theme in my office: accomplished middle-aged professionals talking about an ebbing of confidence. And in the funny way of things, I was driving home after meeting with this particular client and heard singer-songwriter Liz Phair interviewed on the radio. …
The worry list
A coaching client walked into my office and started down a rabbit hole of worries. He had just been promoted to a vice president role at a large company and was a little, well, freaked out. “Hang on,” I interrupted, overwhelmed myself by his stress and worry. “You keep a worry list, right?” He looked at me quizzically. “You need to write down everything that’s on your mind, always, consistently, so you brain doesn’t have to try to keep track …
Drop the pronouns
A career coaching client and I were working on an email to a recruiter outlining her salary requirements. We passed a draft back and forth until we were both satisfied. “Proposal looks good,” I replied to the last draft. “Short, direct, no pronouns, no waffling.” As a career coach, my relationship with pronouns has evolved (my 10th grade English teacher would be so pleased!). I used to think the pronoun “I” was a strong, powerful word; in fact, I used to coach …
You’re not old!
A coaching client told me she was old. “Some young up-and-comer got the job,” said this 44-year-old marketing professional with 20 years’ experience in her field. I paused, trying to figure out where to start. “Hang on,” I said. “I have to yell at you.” She wasn’t actually even a client yet. We were on an initial call to talk about whether coaching might be helpful to her and here I was, going off on the poor woman. (Interesting business …
The metaphoric raincoat
“You need a raincoat,” I told a coaching client. He looked puzzled, glancing out my office window at the gloriously sunny day. He had just described feeling like he was on an emotional roller coaster at work: a capricious boss on the one hand, and work he is deeply committed to on the other. “You need a raincoat to protect yourself from being pelted with those emotional highs and lows at work,” I explained. “It sounds like it will always be pretty …
Quitting gymnastics
My daughter’s friend just quit gymnastics. This 13-year-old girl has been a gymnast most of her life, practicing five days a week, multiple hours a day. It’s what she’s always done. Being a gymnast is her identity. “How did you decide to quit?” I asked her, fascinated by the enormity of her decision. She shrugged. “I realized that I didn’t want to be there anymore,” she said. Out of the mouths of babes. Knowing when to quit, when to walk …