Category Archive

I collect dreadful questions. I’ve got six so far. These are the seemingly easy questions you know you’re going to get over a networking coffee, in a job interview and in the elevator up to your office. These are not questions you want to stumble over. Having good, true answers to the Six Dreadfuls is confidence-building, anxiety-relieving and crazy-empowering. I’ve written in this column about the First Dreadful (“So, tell me about yourself”) and the Second Dreadful (“What kind of work are you looking for?”). …

I used to commute to Redmond to a job I loved. But I can still feel the trapped frustration of sitting on the 520 bridge in the dark winter afternoon, rain streaking down the windshield, red brake lights as far as I could see. Just sitting, waiting, my youth ticking by. “What would the commute be like?” is one of my go-to questions when I help coaching clients evaluate job offers. The commute is easy to gloss over in the …

Prospective coaching clients sometimes ask me if I give personality assessments to help them determine their next steps in their careers. “Assessments are a bit like reading your horoscope,” I reply. “Fun, but not as helpful as maybe you’re hoping it will be for your career development.” Some coaches swear by assessments, but that’s not how I coach. I don’t think career development works that way. “But wouldn’t it be helpful to know what career my personality type is best …

Seemingly innocuous questions can be like kryptonite to a professional looking to transition into a new role or career. These are the landmine questions, the gotchas, the facile questions that cause you to stumble and lose confidence at events, happy hours, skip levels and networking coffees. I call them Dreadful Questions. Over the years as a career coach, I’ve collected six Dreadful Questions. I’ve written here about the First Dreadful; this column is about the Second Dreadful: “So, what kind of …

Sometimes my coaching clients tell me they are scared to reach out to their network as they navigate a career transition. I tell them I don’t care. I mean, I care that they’re afraid, and that fear doesn’t get to slow them down. And I tell them the story of my 12-year-old daughter’s Greek soccer game. I took my family to a small Greek island for a couple of weeks this summer. I was chatting with our lovely innkeeper (another word for networking, …

How do you walk away from something you’ve spent your entire life preparing for? A beloved coaching client is a professional musician. He’s played since he was 3 years old, studied music in college, worked in orchestras his entire adult life. He has $80,000 worth of instruments in his music room. Several years ago he earned a (nonmusical) professional degree and discovered another career that he loves. For a long time, he balanced both careers: professional job during the day, …

Having a good story changes everything. I’ve been working with a lovely coaching client for a couple of months. She’s a senior professional working on a job search and, as an ancillary, on confidence and presence. She’s been through the wringer this year, both personally and professionally, and was a little shaky when she first sat down in my office. She looked like she was holding it together through sheer force of will. We started with the basics of networking …

I often tell my coaching clients to stop thinking. “Thinking is all bad,” I say. “You’ll just think about why it won’t work.” This comes up with clients working on a career transition. Clients who are dreaming about doing something new. Maybe something risky. I often tell these clients a ski story that I’ll also share here. This winter, I was skiing a challenging run (Snake Dance, for you locals). My kids were waiting for me at the bottom of …

“I want to assess my strengths and identify the best career for me,” a potential client told me on the phone. Career development doesn’t really work that way, I told her. “We definitely want to play to your strengths in your work,” I said. “You’ve been around for 30-some years – I bet you already know what your strengths are if you think about it.” Take the time a beloved client once told me a long, complicated, technical story about …

“Try not to get shot at school today,” I tell my kids every morning as they get on the school bus. “We’ll try, Mom,” they say. They don’t roll their eyes. We’re whistling past the graveyard. That’s how I regulate the terror I feel every single morning when my children leave for school. “Please don’t let a copycat try for headlines today. Please let our schoolkids across the country get home to their moms today.” Besides talking about school shootings …