The topic of money comes up a lot in my career coaching practice. This is the story of a young college student who came to talk to me about her career path after graduation. We ended up talking about money and ambition. This young woman sat down in my office and, fumbling in her purse, started telling me about her classes. As she was talking, she poked her thumb with a little needle and glanced at the reading. Still talking, …
(Not) playing the salary negotiation game
In my coaching practice, I see experienced, seasoned professionals fall apart when they negotiate their salary. It’s like they’re afraid of losing a game of poker. I try to make the negotiations less about playing a cutthroat game, and more about developing a business case. “Ack! I have a phone screen,” a new client emailed me. “What are they going to ask?” This client has 20 years in his field, but is looking to return to full-time work after a …
Managing the dreaded micromanager
It seems counterintuitive, but one way to fight back when you get too many micromanaging emails is to send an email of your own. Think of it like a preemptive strike. Here’s an example, pulled from one of my coaching sessions with a vice president at a local startup. “My CEO is micromanaging me,” the vice president told me. “He’s constantly in my business. I’ll wake up in the morning with half a dozen emails from him.” “What are you …
The work/life balance myth
“I need help with work-life balance,” a beloved client said, after showing me pictures of her beautiful new baby. “Maybe I need better time management tools.” I looked at this new mother sitting in front of me. I would have to let her down gently. “You do know that work-life balance is a crock, don’t you?” I asked. “It’s BS. It’s a myth.” No, my client said, startled. This was news to her. She couldn’t figure out how to balance …
There’s always a way
Our general contractor took my breath away. And not just because he’s adorable. We were trying to figure out how to fit a window seat under the eaves without removing too much of my house’s framing and upsetting the structural engineer and city inspectors. “There’s always a way,” he said. “Wait, what did you just say?” I asked him, astonished. “There’s always a way,” he repeated. “We’ll figure it out.” His words were like a breath of fresh air. Rather …
Memory palacing
“How’s the ‘First Dreadful’ coming along?” I asked a beloved career-coaching client. He squirmed uncomfortably. The First Dreadful is one of five networking questions I work on with clients who are trying to make a career transition. The Dreadfuls are the questions you are, well, dreading: the basic questions you know you’re going to stumble over as you try to answer them. The First Dreadful — “So, tell me about yourself” — is an easy, friendly question. And a minefield. “I need …
The quaver
A beloved coaching client told me she is nervous and awkward talking in groups. She hates presenting. She’s a senior manager at a large corporation. She’s ambitious and wants to move up in her organization. She has many years of presenting ahead of her. She needs to figure this out. “I was working on a deck with my vice president recently,” she told me. “He asked me whether I wanted to present it to the group. I’d had a hard …
Not qualified. Really?
A beloved client was considering a move. She had seen a VP role she was interested in. “But I’m not qualified,” this senior director said. “I haven’t done ________,” and she named some technical skill. So I told her a story. I had a client — a director at a large health-care organization — whose boss checks Google when he doesn’t know how to do something. He leads a large organization, he’s renowned as an expert authority and, yes, he’s …
Impostor syndrome
Impostor Syndrome is a common theme in my office. There’s no “cure,” but there’s no reason for it to hold you back. Here’s my Seattle Times column: The painfully funny thing about impostor syndrome. The Seattle Times, March 5, 2018 “I’m worried that I’m no good without my team,” a senior director told me. She was transitioning to a new role in a new organization, leaving behind the team she had built and developed over several years — a team that …
The potential baby
“Are you using birth control?” I asked a beloved coaching client, a junior executive on the East Coast. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone line. After a pause, she allowed that she is on the pill. She had two offers on the table: a VP role leading a large organization and a senior manager role without direct reports. She’s also thinking about having her first baby. “So you have a couple of months to …