Category Archive

“I don’t know anyone,” the young woman in my office said forlornly. She was a participant in my monthly class on career and job transition. I was wrapping up the evening and asked the lovely people in my office what was worrying them. “I want to move into sustainable food production and operations, but I don’t know a single person in that world,” she said. She looked tired. Depleted. She was working long hours on an opposite shift from her …

I looked at my office door in disbelief. I’d just pulled it shut and heard the lock click. Phone, wallet, car keys and dog were locked on the other side of the impenetrable door. It was late on a Friday afternoon. Panic time. I could feel the adrenaline surging through my system, my heart pounding, my breath rapid, as I stared wide-eyed at the locked door. This is what McGonigal, a Ph.D. psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, describes as …

My coaching client had a big, hairy project ahead of her. She’s a freelancer, and she needed to pull together a portfolio to show off her work. She kept putting it off. “I’ll sit down to work on my portfolio, and then I’ll look around my messy house and spend the time doing dishes and vacuuming instead,” said my client, a capable and experienced creative professional. “I never miss a deadline or work I’ve contracted to do, but I can’t …

A new coaching client wanted a promotion. “I’ve gotten promoted every year,” said my client, a software engineer at a large tech company. “Being promoted is how I know I’m successful.” I looked at him worriedly. “I expect you’re going to run out of runway,” I told him. “One of these years you’re not going to get promoted, and then what? You’re a failure?” My client nodded. “I don’t know how I can keep this up,” he agreed. “I’m not …

“I’ve decided not to apply to graduate school,” my coaching client told me. I looked at him in surprise. We’d spent several months talking about his dream to study mycology — specifically, how mushrooms can digest plastics and oil and help us save the world. He’d been fascinated by mushrooms since he was a kid. He’d been determined to earn a Ph.D. and work as a scientist. This was a lifelong dream. “I think I was more in love with …

“Don’t use that word!” I exclaimed. My coaching client, an operations executive, looked stricken. He had just told me that he was passionate about managing opportunities that drive shareholder value. “’Passionate’ is a great word for your bedroom,” I told him. “It’s not a great word to describe your interest and expertise in your field.” The word is overused and badly used in a workplace setting. It means “having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid,” …