Category Archives: Friends & Family

Riding the STP

I signed up for the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic. And I don’t have a bicycle. Which poses a problem. This idea started last summer when I helped a friend with her fear of driving. I thought about what I’m afraid of. What fears keep me small? With some embarrassment, I’ll admit I’m afraid of balloons. Their potential for a loud, ...

The Wisdom of Dead Dogs

A favorite coaching client of mine is facing a messy divorce. “What do you want this experience to be like?” I asked him. “What do you want your memories of this divorce to be like?” As I asked the question, I suddenly thought of my beloved dog Hector Protector. I interrupted myself to tell my client about Hector. Hector was ...

Highway Fear

I have a friend who is afraid of highways. She loses sleep if she knows she is going to have to drive on one. Loses weight. Organizes her life to avoid them. I respect deep-seated fears and don’t tend to mess with them. I did wonder, though, how this fear was making her life smaller. So we came up with ...

Mess Up Mommy

I’m coaching my 6-year-old daughter’s soccer team. This is despite having played only a year of JV soccer in middle school and losing every game. My parents came to a game and cheered the wrong girl. Anyway, the league needed coaches. How hard could it be? Taking my new soccer coaching responsibilities very seriously, I crafted a careful email to ...

Frosting

Caution: this is a story about female sexuality so please stop reading if you are offended by such things and are likely to flame me. It’s my birthday today and I don’t want to be flamed. At a lovely wedding recently, after several glasses of Indiana wine, the topic turned to sex. I told the story of a friend (protecting ...

Wedding Toast

This is the toast I gave to Jeff and Jill at their wedding in Bloomington, Indiana this weekend. Jeff asked me to share it here. Hi, my name is Kathryn. I’ve known Jeff since the first day of business school, and he was the second person to hold each of my children after they arrived — so hopefully that establishes ...

Muffins

Once a week I’ve been getting up at 5 a.m. to bake muffins. I feel like a pioneer woman cooking breakfast before dawn for my family. I then get my 8-year-old son up and we head east for a day at an alternative wilderness school. I like that he’s full of warm, healthy muffins for his day of wild weather ...

Loaded Question

I read a blog post recently about asking whether there are weapons in the home before sending your child over on a playdate. (For those of you not in Seattle, two children were killed and one injured by guns in the hands of other children in the last couple of weeks.) I asked my 8-year-old son what he would do if ...

Thank You, Aliens

Aliens have abducted my husband. My Spock-like software engineer of a husband – or his alien clone – put a gratitude journal on both our phones. Who is this guy and what has he done with my husband? Every morning at 7:30 this app pops up, disrupting whatever else I happen to be doing, and I have to stop and ...

The Running Group

I had a random idea awhile back. What if I started a running group and invited people who had never run before to come with me? Running is all well and good, but I only do it for that clear, calm, washed clean feeling afterwards. There’s a lot of spaciousness in that feeling. A lot of power. What if I ...

It’s Not About You

A favorite coaching client recently received a troubling performance review. He feels paranoid: his colleagues seem to be distancing themselves, as if they somehow know. He described a coworker who used to be friendly. Now she never stops to chat. “Does she know something I don’t?” he wondered. I challenged him to ask her. That way he’d know. The next ...

Name Neurosis

I never remember names. I can know people for years and not have a clue what their name is. This has developed into a pretty rich neurosis, where I won’t say someone’s name even if I’m sure what it is, because what if it’s wrong? This is ridiculous. It inhibits my ability to connect with people. I’m distracted by an ...

Coffee Breath

I was kissing awake my 5-year-old daughter the other morning, my heart filled with love for that sweet, sleepy, warm body. From under the pillows, the most offended little voice said, “Your breath stinks.” And then, with utter disgust, “Gross.” Z keeps it real. I could feel myself flipping through the available emotions. I picked up “hurt.” I picked up ...

Being Zilly

We went camping and forgot the dog. We were 30 minutes on our way when I realized. “Any other children you’ve forgotten?” my partner asked as we turned around and drove back to the house. And there was Zilly curled up quietly in his crate. Zilly is a very polite, appreciative, quiet little dog. He’s well behaved, does what he’s ...

Flinch

I flinched. I went blonde again. It all started when I was talking to a nice couple at the playground. The guy looked vaguely familiar. We eventually figured out that we’d gone to business school together. Graduated in the same class. He didn’t recognize me. That’s a bit of a hit: I like to think I make more of an ...