Category Archives: Life Coaching

Are You Ready Yet?

I have a favorite coaching client who talks me up to a friend of hers. My client thinks I could help him make some positive changes in his life. “I’m not ready yet,” her friend says. “Not yet.” I know I could help – I’m itching to help. But how do I help him, and others like him, over the ...

Frosting

Caution: this is a story about female sexuality so please stop reading if you are offended by such things and are likely to flame me. It’s my birthday today and I don’t want to be flamed. At a lovely wedding recently, after several glasses of Indiana wine, the topic turned to sex. I told the story of a friend (protecting ...

You Need a Coach!

Just as athletes, musicians, and executives rely on coaches, a personal/professional coach can help you flourish on the complex, demanding stage of your life. To me, this means finding meaning, joy, flow, and well-being in the midst of our crazy busy lives. Most of us get to do this just once – and getting by isn’t good enough. As a ...

Heavy Weights

As a personal coach, I spend a lot of time helping clients clean up and throw away the crap in their lives that takes up a lot of emotional space: stuff ranging from dirty man caves to “taker” friends to unrewarding jobs. As a coach, I’m really interested in what clearing that detritus makes room for. Last week, I got ...

Small Joys

“I’m not a crier,” said a favorite coaching client. “I’ve tried to cry over this, but the tears don’t come.” My client has a young child — and a job she loves. She’s an executive at a company you’ve heard of.  “I feel splatted,” she says. Her travel schedule involves flying to a different city every week this month. I ...

Finding Flow

Several (well, many) years ago, I said I wanted to learn how to play the piano before I turned 40. The piano has always seemed like one of those impossible mysteries, like speaking French. Or dancing. As my 43rd year looms, I’ve started piano lessons. I got a free ($200 to move + $200 to tune = free, my partner ...

The Wet Blanket

I have a favorite coaching client who wakes up to dread every morning. She wakes up dreading her day. I asked her what the dread felt like. “Like a warm, wet blanket,” she said. “A gray, wet, stifling blanket.” She can feel it heavy around her shoulders. “Does it find you, or do you seek it out?” I asked. “I ...

Pebbles

My approach to coaching is to keep it simple. I look for the small, incremental changes that will make a difference in my clients’ lives. The thing about living the kind of life you want is that it needs to be sustainable. Otherwise, any goal is just a set up for feeling bad. As a coach, I listen for warmth, ...

Lockdown Frugality

Everyone’s going skiing. “See you on the mountain,” someone called after the last soccer game of the season. We won’t be there. We’ve been in lockdown frugality since I quit my full-time job last year. The answer is now “No!” to things like skiing. I’ve been surprised to discover an odd thing about our newfound frugality: It’s a lot easier. ...

GTD Meets Zen

I’ve discovered something cool. Maybe everybody does this already. But I thought I’d write about it in case it could be helpful to you. I try to meditate a couple of mornings a week. I do it in a way that I don’t think the abbess at the monastery I occasionally visit would approve of. I sit with a legal ...

Mess or Music

I’ve been thinking about mess. Messy rooms; messy corners of life. I have a coaching client who is trying to turn down the noise in her life. Too many demands, too much complexity, too much chaos. She doesn’t have room to think or breath. We started with the literal. She cleaned up some messes that had been distracting her: the ...

The Running Group

I had a random idea awhile back. What if I started a running group and invited people who had never run before to come with me? Running is all well and good, but I only do it for that clear, calm, washed clean feeling afterwards. There’s a lot of spaciousness in that feeling. A lot of power. What if I ...

It’s Not About You

A favorite coaching client recently received a troubling performance review. He feels paranoid: his colleagues seem to be distancing themselves, as if they somehow know. He described a coworker who used to be friendly. Now she never stops to chat. “Does she know something I don’t?” he wondered. I challenged him to ask her. That way he’d know. The next ...

Name Neurosis

I never remember names. I can know people for years and not have a clue what their name is. This has developed into a pretty rich neurosis, where I won’t say someone’s name even if I’m sure what it is, because what if it’s wrong? This is ridiculous. It inhibits my ability to connect with people. I’m distracted by an ...

Coffee Breath

I was kissing awake my 5-year-old daughter the other morning, my heart filled with love for that sweet, sleepy, warm body. From under the pillows, the most offended little voice said, “Your breath stinks.” And then, with utter disgust, “Gross.” Z keeps it real. I could feel myself flipping through the available emotions. I picked up “hurt.” I picked up ...