The Destruction of Ruminating

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A beloved coaching client didn’t get the job she had worked so hard for.

“I’m a failure,” she emailed me. “I am lost.”

I checked in with her a week later and heard the same notes of sorrow and anguish and anger. “I’ll get over it soon, I promise,” she told me. “It’s just so unfair.”

I’ve known that feeling. You probably have, too.

Years ago, I had a job I loved and a boss I adored. And I can still feel the physical pain in my heart when she said, “I’m disappointed in you, Kathryn.” And that wonderful job fell off a cliff.

I remember crying into my pillow. I remember reliving the events, rehashing the unfairness and the meanness. My thoughts churned down a well-worn rut, fantasizing about a different outcome.

Eventually, I realized I had to stop thinking about it. I was ruminating. I was wasting time and energy, and jeopardizing my mental health.

I now coach my clients on three techniques I practiced to get out of that mental rut…

(Read the rest of the story at The Seattle Times.)